The Song Remains the Same

So it has been a while since I wrote here, and it is high time I did. Yes, still job hunting. Thought that is not an accurate description really. I am not hunting merely for a 'job' but rather for a career. Something that makes me excited to get up in the morning, something that is not work, but passion.

Too many of us merely work for a living. This thought came to me as I was interviewing for a position. It was something I could have done easily, something that I have done in the past. And yet when I thought of it, thought of getting it - I just felt tired. Weary to the bone kind of tired. I heard myself saying to a friend, 'sure, I can do the job, but I don't want to work that hard." Which sounds very slacker-ish. I don't mind working hard, I don't mind being busy and involved - even in that 'seriously - it's June?' kind of busy. The kind where you started a project on Monday and when you looked up again it was Monday, but two months later.

What I mind is the kind of busy where you feel that you are slogging. Where getting out of bed becomes a Herculean effort because busy or not, you aren't enjoying what you are doing. Knowing that the day before you is a carbon copy of the last 30 days, and in not one of them did anything really interesting or challenging happen. That today is indistinguishable from yesterday in a really bad Bill Murray in Groundhog day kind of way.

And yet the temptation is there, one year on, to take the very next thing that is handed to me. To say, well yes the pay is crap but it is at least as much as I am making on unemployment. To feel like a loser because I am on the dole and the days spent reading job descriptions for open positions become their own kind of tedious.

I am lucky. I have a support group that is nurturing, understanding, and fully behind me. I have friends willing to let me be the troll in the spare bedroom, emerging only for meals (and the processional chauffeur to work job). I have a cast of cheerleaders who believe in me, buck me up and remind me that I am in this for bigger game this time.

So for them, event though at the moment the song remains the same, I am back here to write more about them, me and the hunt.