Good Advice

The other day I read a really great quote - basically it said it is better to live your own life imperfectly than to try and live someone else's view of your life to perfection.  How often do we do that, I wonder?  How often is the life we are living really the construct of what others want for us? 

Don't get me wrong, I am sure that we are told what life we should be living with the very best of intentions.  Those that love us want us to be safe.  They want us to be happy, too - but in the absence of a good definition of what happiness is they (and we) default to safe.  We are told that all that is wanted for us is a 'good life,' a chance at what marketing moguls tell us is the American Dream.  But in reality, is that what all of us want?  I don't.  I have no interest in owning a house; especially the McMansions I see around me.  I don't have need of a fancy car, just one that works - or better yet, access to a mass transit system that is reliable. 

My dream is of travel, of good food and good wine and good friends.  My dream is a little place to come home to at the end of a good trip.  My dream is writing on a balcony overlooking the Adriatic, or the Mediterranean, or whatever big body of water happens to be happy.  My dream is wandering back streets of a foreign city itching to get lost and then found again.  My dream is completely alien to most of my family and even most of my friends.

Yet when I look at it, living the life they envision for me; even if I live it absolutely dead letter perfectly; I just feel exhausted.  Yes, the life I yearn for is not an easy one.  Yes, the life I yearn for means a lot of hard work, a lot of disappointment, and a lot of frustration.  But the safe life I had was no picnic either.  Coming home at the end of the day feeling wrung out and sad.  Working at a job that should have had so much more meaning, should have had so much more promise but instead relegated me to a nice little corner.  Where I lived for vacation, lived for evenings out with friends who understood that travel bug; where I trod lightly over the minefield of expectations of those who told me I was crazy, strange, weird, and troublesome. 

I would rather live my destiny - my very own destiny - imperfectly, flawed, and tumultuous than to ever again live a life that is prescribed for me by others who draw the boundaries of it based on their own fears.  Easier said than done, certainly; but good advice none the less.