Getting Past Scary

Training notes: dismal day, only reached 7300 steps. I did get in my 2.5 mile walk, but it felt like I was tethered to the computer for most of the day. Tomorrow we shall do better! I am stiff and sore and my body is in full rebellion at being made to move. I keep telling myself it will get better. That it is better now to be a bit stiff and sore with the knowledge that soon it won't be this hard than it is to keep on the way I have been and be like this from just getting out of bed in the morning.  The big picture is keeping me moving. I hope.

Travel notes: Today I got to thinking about gear. It may be a bit premature, but as I was walking across a grassy field, I started to think about how for the most part, the trek takes you over fields and such. Not nice, even, paved roads. Boots are in order. Boots for stability and to keep the ankle strong. Boots that can handle some muck and mud, get you over the wobbly ground. So I will need to get boots, which are expensive. For something like this you don't want to go with the cheap special at the odd name brand shoe store. For this you want to go to the places that employ people who know about trekking. This is not a place to cut corners.

While perusing some sites for just that item, I began to look at things like clothes. Is this a trek to be made in jeans? Do I want something lighter? Being Scotland, being fields, I probably want long pants because there will be brambles and probably midges and other biting pests. Then it was walking sticks and backpacks and all the rest of it. This could cost some serious coin!

It isn't a deterrent, though I suspect there is a part of my brain - the part that is tired and stiff - that is desperately trying to sabotage my efforts.  "oh, yeah, see? Too expensive! You should take that money and find a really nice spa to spend the week at." I suspect there is a part of me that is still not convinced I can do this and is looking for excuses. "had this great trip planned, but wow, it was so expensive I just stayed home." Maybe part of it is fear of failing at it, that I will get a quarter or a third of the way and have to give up and thus is trying to short circuit the whole thing.

Travel is fun, travel is exciting and broadening and wonderful. It is all the things that make those glossy brochures so enticing. But travel is also a bit scary. It is going someplace far away, someplace that is really different from wherever your particular here is. That's the truth of it. I have butterflies every single time a trip takes shape for me. There is always a part of me that is looking for the exit, that frets over the price, that wants to convince me that you can only look at so many museums and churches, that reminds me of narrow and uncomfortable beds, of bad food and bad experiences. Because it would just be easier to stay home.

So half the triumph for me is just getting there. Getting past the voices and the excuses and arriving. It is like climbing a mountain every single time, but the view from the top is always might fine. So yes, I will need boots and a pack and probably some new clothes. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Because I'm going to walk the Hadrian's Wall Path.