The Kids are Alright

A friend sent me a lovely email today, one in which she asked me how I was doing in light of everything that has been going on in the last year.  She asked if I was okay, was I depressed, was I frustrated, was I worried?  As is often the case when someone you care about asks such questions, there was a temptation to dash off the one line "I'm fine, thanks for asking!" reply.  The one that has the obligatory use of the exclamation mark, just to prove how fine you really are.  The one that brushes off the real answer, the deeper answer, and is meant as nothing more than a surface reassurance.  The kind of answer that we are skeptical of when we get it ourselves.

I felt that I owed her more than that; and it seemed a good opportunity to take my own emotional temperature.  Am I really 'fine?'  So I set down to write an honest reply; in doing so I kind of surprised myself.  I am, actually, fine.  Better than fine, really.  I found myself writing that I am truly grateful for this past year or so.

1. I was freed from a job that I wasn't particularly happy in.  I truly enjoyed the people I worked with.  It was a joy to spend so much of my time with funny, smart, interesting people; most of whom loved what they did and were really, really good at it.  I liked the company I worked for, I liked the idea that my work contributed to a company that tried to heal people with serious diseases.  But I never felt that I was working at my potential, and I never felt that I had the opportunity to advance or that I my skills and knowledge were be used in the best and highest use.  And yet I never seriously attempted to rectify that.

2. I was given the opportunity to take an extended trip, to spend time in some amazing and wonderful places.  I met some sweet and interesting people, was allowed to be a temporary local in France, in Ireland, in Scotland.  It was a rest I dearly needed but never realized how much. 

3. I have had the opportunity to deepen and develop a couple of interests that were peripheral hobbies.  Interests that have roots going back almost a decade.  I feel like I went from an apprentice to a pretty skilled journeyman when it comes to wine and food; and I feel as though I have become a better, stronger writer in the process.

4.  As a result of those interests, I have met some pretty wonderful people.  I have met folks who have a passion for what they do, who have a drive that gets them out of bed in the morning to work longer, harder hours in the pursuit of their interests than they ever did working in a traditional 9-5 job, and who couldn't be happier as a result.They truly are craftsmen, and beyond that they are just darned nice people.

5. I have discovered who my cheerleaders are, and have come to appreciate them more than ever.  I have met new people who I doubt I would have come in contact with in any other circumstance.  People who have given me new perspectives, new ideas, and a renewed energy to pursue them.

6. I have learned that it is okay to ask people for help.  That it is not some sort of personal failing.  That alone has been worth the price of admission.

 At the end of the day, I am not just doing okay, I am doing pretty darn good.  I am a better, smarter, stronger person for this journey.  Not that it has been a bed of roses - it has been challenging, depressing, irritating, frustrating, at times I have felt hopeless and even worthless.  And yet, I have survived, even thrived in this little petri dish.  So yeah - I'm doing just fine.  Thanks for asking.